My Friend Patrick Parker made a post on twitter. "Freaks me out that there are people who don't like porn. That's like saying "I don't like music" or something. Fucking weird." It got me thinking...
I think, there isn't anyone who truly doesn't like porn, they just vary in their levels of denial. And no this isn't just a biased gooner take, based on my experiences and everything we know about the world, It's hard to ignore our nature as people. Sex was never taboo or considered something that needed to be hidden from society by our ancestors. Public sex, nudity and pornography was indulged regularly without shame. Only as we advanced and individualism replaced community, did we start acting like porn was taboo, forcing many to internalize their desires and publicly demonize porn. But that demonization is still contradicted in our day to day lives.
Artists will always slip bits and pieces of "porn" into every art-form no matter where it is and we'll always reward the ones who can feed us the most. Sex scenes in film and tv always excite us and leave us wanting more, the most popular music will always be peppered with lyrics about fucking, the most influential and beloved women will always be the ones who give us porn in some way, even cartoons aren't exempt and the Japanese are connoisseurs in this department. When I was a kid I remember watching a japanese cartoon called ShinChan, where I kid you not, the main character would regularly expose their comically large ass-cheeks and wave them around in slow motion... I was a fan. And let's not forget how modern social media apps like Instagram and TikTok always turn into a hub of soft-core porn that are bound to have you bricked up in public if your algorithm is tuned the right way. The point is, we're always tapped into our love for porn in the back of our minds whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.
Someone else replied to that post saying a long the lines of "We should love it, Sex is literally in our DNA" and Parker responded with "You know what, never thought about that but you're right. Thinking back to college days whenever people started fucking at a party, you just have to stand there and watch lol." It reminded me of how we're naturally eager to observe others and to be observed by others having sex. Many ancient sculptures and art pieces depict people watching others have sex, and most people still exhibit this behavior in certain situations. For example, nightclubs are the closest we're allowed to get to letting that part of us loose, especially when they're filled with younger people like the ones I went to in college. The entire time everyone is more or less simulating sex acts and making out while completely surrounded by others who are doing the same thing and not a single person bats an eye. Seedier clubs that play caribbean rap music where always a hot and sweaty orgy of dry-humping, and those who weren't engaging would simply watch and enjoy the view. These clubs get so intense that you will inevitably notice others grinding and humping until climax, without having a second thought about onlookers.
Like nightclubs, college in general is a place where most people feel free to be shameless about sex and porn. Like Peter mentioned, sex was everywhere, people fucking in back-rooms at parties and in dorms, usually making as much noise as possible which would inadvertently trigger a semi-orgy with others either fucking or gooning along with them. He told me that sometimes porn would just be "on", and that reminded me of the times in college when hyper sexual music videos would always be playing during pre-game sessions, when my housemate casually shared with me his love for japanese porn, or even before college when impromptu porn watch-parties would form every week in the computer labs at school.
Another memory I have was being stuck in an Airb&b with 7 of my college friends after a night out, 3 guys, 4 girls, some of us where in separate rooms but it may as well have been a single room because the doors stayed open and we where less than 4 feet apart. After a whole night of us fucking, I remembered how genuine and carefree everyone was in those hours. Suddenly something that we're told is taboo (being nude, watching others fuck and fucking around others) feels so natural once that one person is willing to take the first step and allow everyone else to feel comfortable enough to let go of their inhibitions (which also ties back to seedy nightclubs, the impromptu porn-watching parties and semi-orgies in college).
Not only that, but I also engaged in irl gooning sessions while I was at college, this time with strangers I met on twitter instead of students. It was a real eye-opener seeing guys come into the apartment and casually greet me and dap me up while I'm just there sitting but-ass naked on the couch already stroking my dick. We would all smoke, joke and engage in casual conversation throughout the sometimes 4+ hour sessions, while still edging and stroking to porn, never holding our moans or worrying about what society considered "gay" or not, and yes we where all straight.
At the end of the day, the reason why we behave this way is the same reason why naturalist communities, swingers parties and so on exist. Because sex was always an activity that is meant to be observed, critiqued and practiced as a community like any other activity. Porn is important because it's a direct expression of that truth. Just like sports and games are an expression of our natural competitiveness. Porn fans or "gooners" like us are the only ones living 100% authentically. So if a person shit-talks porn, just know that they are simply a victim of social conditioning and try to remind them of our true nature if you can. For example, if you're both stoned, just put on some porn or a PMV without asking. That's always an easy way to beak someone out of the matrix. 😆
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